LOVE-SCRIPTION

Mainak Guha

Somedays, I repent, on my anger, my mistakes, my ego and our rigidness over the wrongs. I crave so much to see you once, a second would do enough may be, to fill in the oxygen. The nights would still be sleepless though, but oblivion would not crush me so easily then. 

But ever since you left, or rather we departed, I have not caught a glance of you. We were young blood, full of adrenaline, and rage led us to delete the social profiles as well. I decided to move on, and permanently erased all your digital remembrances from my system. That followed by a posting a sea away, pushed my waves further away from your shores.

Well, I could never grow out of you. I was not weak, but our connection had become stronger by then. It's like that little piece of shrapnel sticking to your heart. Removing it would bleed me to death, keeping it made me follow your shadow in my dreams and reality. But I survive. There is a tiny dust of magic still alive. Once, long ago, when hearts still beat as one, you sent me a voicenote. That wildflower stayed and bloomed in my old memory chip lying at an abandoned corner of the drawer, which I found by chance while searching for a sleeping pill frantically in a rainy midnight. This sound so like fantasy, all made up? But so is life, for some of us. I run that voicenote over and over again, and it makes the top of my playlist. Pink Floyd or Coldplay may sound better, but that small voicenote saved me from drowning. It gives me hope, every time, from times gone. Yes, even from a withered and broken past, you can find in a little bit of stardust, of things that were everything for you. It becomes my time machine on lonelier afternoons, and all I feel is you whispering me by the ear," We are awesome, and You are my Hero."

Isn't that enough for a soul to live? I can still feel your warm breath at times over.